I'm Still Breathing
by xxilovekendallschmidtxx
Summary: Alexis is transgender. "She" is a "he", and his name will soon become Kendall. Learn how Kendall deals with the difficulties of being transgender in high school. *CHAPTER 2 IS UP NOW*
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello, readers! Thank you for clicking on this story! This is pretty different from anything I've ever written before, so I'm not sure how it's going to turn out. I'm not gonna spend too much time talking, but in other chapters, the author's notes might be kinda long, because in some chapters, I'm trying to convey a message. But for now, on with the story:**

_11 years ago:_

It's my 4th birthday! I'm so excited! And now that we had pancakes, it's time for presents from Mommy and Daddy.

First, I got a Malibu Barbie doll. She was pretty.

Next, I got a princess costume with a tiara and glass slippers and everything. It was pretty.

Then, I got a Tinkerbell playset. It was okay.

The last present was my favorite, though. It was the whole set of action figures that I wanted! They had Spiderman, Batman, Superman, The Incredible Hulk, Captain America, Wolverine, and Iron Man! It was the coolest thing ever! All I wanted to do was take out one of the action figures and play with it all day.

But that would have to wait because next was my birthday party! We all went to Chuck-E Cheese like I did last year, and all of my friends were there: Carly, Meghan, Abbey, Jenna, Rachele, Kennedy, Sophie, Gabriel, Keagan, Bobbie, Travis, and my best friend, Luke. My cousins, aunts and uncles were also there.

After we played for awhile, we went to a room and ate pizza. Then, my parents brought in a big, pink cake with icing flowers. And in the middle in pink icing, it said "Happy Birthday, Alexis!"

When everyone was singing "Happy Birthday", I realized it wasn't such a happy birthday. I only got one good present so far, and now my cake was pink. Why would anyone even want a pink cake?! It was gross. So I didn't eat any.

We went home that night and opened my presents. They were all boring: a Barbie, a doll house, some princess stuff, some girly clothes. I didn't want any of it.

But Luke always seemed to know what I wanted. That's why I called him my boyfriend sometimes. He got me the new Lego set!

My parents laughed at my excitement, but I'm not sure why.

_6 years ago:_

I'm nine now, and I'm in 4th grade. Next year, I'll be going to middle school. It sounds so old!

Last week, something weird happened. I was thinking for a little while in school about how all of my friends are boys, and how I'm only into boy stuff. I play soccer, baseball, basketball, and- my favorite- hockey for my town, and I always beat the boys. Sometimes, it almost felt like I was supposed to be a boy, but I came out as a girl by accident. Maybe even God makes mistakes.

By the time I got out of school that day, I had finally found the words to explain how I felt to my mom. I was proud of myself and ready to let her know what it felt like for me.

I walked down the path to the parents with Luke and Keagan, my two best friends. We all hugged our moms when we got to them.

"How was your day, Alexis?" she asked me.

"Okay, mommy. I was thinking about something today."

"What's that, sweetie?"

"Sometimes I feel like a boy trapped in a girl's body." It felt good for me to finally let that out.

But all of that good feeling was suddenly shattered. "Alexis Knight! Don't you ever say that again!" she screamed. My friends' parents stopped talking and looked at me. "I'm sorry," she said to them in a calmer voice. "We have to go now."

The whole ride home, she said nothing. She never brought it up again. I want to know what I did wrong. I was only explaining how I felt...

**A/N: So not sure how that was exactly...please let me know what you thought of it. Ideas for future chapters will be considered, and yeah. Just whatever you do, please tell me what you thought of it. Good or bad, I don't care, as long as someone read this! Kay, bye..**


	2. Chapter 2

**"Alexis" POV**

"Mom?" I asked, walking into the living room of my house. My mom was sitting with my sister, Katie, on the couch, watching some reality show.

"Yes, dear?" she asked without looking up for a second. I sat down next to her.

"I need to talk to you, mom. It's important." She muted the television and looked me in the eyes. "Remember when I was younger, and I said something about being a...a b-boy?" I stuttered, worried that I would get in trouble again.

My mom turned to Katie, seemingly ignoring the previous question. "Honey, why don't you go play in your room?" sending my sister upstairs. "Yes, I do," she said, turning back to me. "Why do you ask?"

"Mom, I-I still feel that way..." My feet were suddenly very interesting.

When the room fell silent, I glanced up at my mother. She seemed to find her feet quite fascinating too. "Sweetie, I think we need to have a talk," she said, softly. I nodded my head and looked down. "Have you ever heard of trangender?" I nodded again. "Can you please explain to me what the term means?"

I continued to stare down as I mumbled my answer. "It means you were born in the wrong body."

"Essentially, yes. See, you know the words gender and sex, I'm sure, and you think that they mean the same thing?" I nodded shyly. I was embarrassed that I may not even know what's going on with myself. "Well, as many people don't know, they have different meanings. Let's use you as an example. Now, obviously, your sex is female. You were born a girl, right?" I shrugged. "Yes, you were. But your gender is how you feel, more or less. Answer this for me: do you feel like a girl or a boy?"

"A boy," I stated matter-of-factly.

"So, therefore, your gender is male. Your sex and gender don't match, which means that...well, you could be transgender..." She almost started to cry but held it back.

"It's okay mom," I said and put a hand on her shoulder. She started to cry very loudly, and I was crying silently by her side. _I'm 13, I shouldn't be crying. _But I was, and once I started, I just couldn't stop.

After awhile of just some tears from the two of us, my mom spoke up and joked with me. "Ya know, I should've known." Sniffle. "You play all kinds of sports, you have no girl friends, and look at your outfit today: a baggy black hoodie, camo cargo pants, and Nikes." We both chuckled a bit.

"Yeah, I'm kinda surprised you- we- didn't figure it out sooner. I mean, I'm always begging you not to make me do any girly things and, really, I've wanted to cut my hair for years."

"Well, that's something else we'll need to talk about." I was confused. What else was there to talk about? "Did you know there are...ummmmm...doctors, out there that would be able to make you into a boy?" I shook my head. "There's a type of plastic surgery for special little gir- boys like you." She smiled and kissed my head. "Would you want to look into that with me? Getting a, um, sex change?"

I nodded and looked down, letting a blush take over my face. Then I smiled. "So, there's a cure for people like me?" She nodded and smiled along with me. "Thank you, mom. For being here for me." We hugged, but I pulled away from her quick. "I have a question. Why did you freak out when I told you the same thing a few years back?"

"Because lots of kids say that just as a joke or trying to be cute, and I...I don't know, I guess I was caught off-gaurd. I'm sorry sweetie." She blushed. I accepted her apology, and she got up to go call a psychologist for me.

"Mom?"

"Yes, Ally?"

"Call me Kendall from now on, please?"

"Okay."

Yup, she truly was the best mom ever.


End file.
